The Penguin: More Butt, More Blood, More Murder

I know it's been practically centuries since the last time I posted, but it has been for good reason. Besides being busy with college and other retarded bullshit, I've been preoccupied with developing a major motion picture pitch. You may recall my post many weeks ago about the current state of horror films. I decided to take matters into my own hands. So for these past few weeks I have stowed away inside my dorm room, isolated within the darkness and within my own sick and twisted psyche, crafting what may very well be the the most horrific, sadistic story ever imagined. After working out all the kinks, I believe I've fine-tuned it enough to reveal it for the first time. So for your enjoyment, and before Twisted Pictures initiates a six-figure contract with me for the rights to produce the film and all the terrible sequels, I now give you the first glimpse into...The Penguin.

Reggie is a dolphin trainer at his local zoo. After a tragic training accident in which the eldest and most beloved dolphin, Giggles, asphyxiated on a herring under Reggie's watch, he is demoted to sanitation specialist at the penguin exhibit. Things start off well...until a voice in his head starts to tell him to murder employees of the zoo!

Reggie seeks counseling, only to be prescribed medications that do nothing for him. The urges become stronger and stronger, until one day... he caves in the head of the new dietician girl with an ice pick. The voice tells him hide the body deep in the exhibit, in a cave hidden behind a secret wall. It is there that he meets Brad.

Brad is a penguin. A penguin with the ability to communicate telepathically with humans. Having found the cause of his heinous impulses, Reggies trys to stomp the mysterious penguin into a jelly. But what he couldn't have predicted, is that Brad could control his every movement simply by thinking it.

Helpless to terminate the murderous impulses, he finds himself becoming the puppet of a masochistic arctic bird. One by one, Brad uses Reggie to systematically eliminate every worker assigned to his chilly abode. But after awhile, the bloodbath extends beyond the outskirts of the exhibit. Soon enough, the folks over at the bonobo attraction disappear, and shortly thereafter the workers assigned to "The Safari". A massive body count quickly piles up over the course of only a month. Desperate to end the bloodshed, Reggie stealthily advances into Brad's lair late at night, and attempts to chop him in half with a machete. Mere feet from Brad's sleeping body, an icicle overhead comes crashing down, shattering loudly and awakening Brad in the process. Discovered in the middle of carrying out his assassination attempt, Brad punishes Reggie for his disobedience. A punishment so torturous that Reggie wishes the icicle had split his skull in half rather then be subject to Brad's cruel and unusual disciplinary action. For five consecutive times, Reggie is forced to watch "Ghostrider".

Emotionally and physically devastated, he spirals into a state of insanity. Somehow, his madness renders Brad's mind control useless. In the climax of the film, Reggie ventures downward into the icy labyrinth armed with only a small hunting knife, intent on exacting revenge. A suspenseful cat and mouse scenario unfolds, with Reggie hellbent on chopping off Brad's buttocks and feeding it to him until he chokes to death, as retribution for the murder of Giggles the dolphin. Backed into a corner, Brad pleas for mercy, but to no avail. After several minutes of eating his own ass, Brad dies.

A broken man, Reggie stands over the corpse of the penguin. Overcome by his mental illness and his bloodlust, it seems Brad got the last laugh. Drenched in butt-blood, he finds himself wanting more. More butt. More blood. More murder.